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For Loved Ones
For parents, family, and friends of transgender loved ones
Rainbow Redemption Project does not currently offer direct consultation to parents or family members of transgender-identified indvidiuals. Because every person is unique, what led us to detransition and find faith in God may be entirely different for your loved one. However, we do want to share with you what we have learned from our experiences. We are deeply sympathetic to how difficult and complex this situation can be.
The hope of our organization, and as loved ones, is not for people to simply stop being transgender. In fact, most detransitioners are not even Christian. Instead, we desire to see everybody, regardless of their identity, receive salvation by realizing the existence and incredible love of their Creator. It is the goodness of God that leads man to repentance (Romans 2:4) We pray for all people to encounter that incredible goodness and then repent (“metanoia” - to change one’s mind) of any kind of false belief one may have prior to being born again.
We believe that these identities are just a worldly solution to a spiritual problem. Most of us at the Rainbow Redemption Project recall growing up without being told anything meaningful about our bodies and our gender. What we learned from society was usually confusing, sexualized, or downright traumatizing. Even if we were taught that God created us, we never understood that personally as the truth, and thought it was just a trite saying.
Some of us detransitioned after finding out God was real. Others found out God was real after questioning our own transgender identities. Usually, it was a process of both things happening at the same time by the leading of the Holy Spirit.
What we do all have in common is the discovery of our true identities as human beings created in the image of God. Through the blood of Jesus Christ, we were reconnected with the Creator of the universe. The purpose of our lives, souls, and bodies were revealed.
We didn’t get born again from hearing logical arguments against our beliefs. In fact, hearing anything other than positive affirmation would usually cause us genuine emotional or physical pain. Instead, it was through witnessing the power of the Holy Spirit that we encountered His radical love for us. Apostle Paul says the same thing to the Corinthians, “And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power…” (1 Corinthians 2:4)
Unfortunately, the debate surrounding gender ideology tends to be intellectualized. These conversations fall along political lines that polarize people and appeal to our emotions. But this is more than just an ideological conversation– these are people’s eternities at stake. That is one of the core reasons we began the Rainbow Redemption Project, because this is truly a spiritual battle. This battle can only be won through love and truth found in the Spirit of God (1st John 4:16)
For this reason, we believe the first step you should take is to prioritize your own relationship with God. The fruits of the Holy Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23) As representatives of Christ, we can make a massive difference in other people’s lives when they see us radiating those beautiful attributes. These qualities come from communion with God and the renewal of our mind through His word. (Romans 12:2)
It can be difficult to manifest these fruits of the Spirit when we are caught up in anxiety, sadness, or frustration. It is even more difficult when we are judged as cruel or unloving for our belief in God’s word. That’s why we must become conformed to God’s perfect love so that we can be at peace in all situations, even ones as difficult as this.
The right steps to take can be vastly different depending on the dynamic of your relationship. That means we can’t rely on ourselves or the advice of others to know the perfect things to say to loved ones who are suffering from gender dysphoria. Instead, we can rely on the Holy Spirit to give us the wisdom we need and to speak through us.
The more we are consumed with God’s character, the better we can demonstrate incredible love and kindness to those around us. The Holy Spirit will reveal how to pray for the people in your life. (Romans 8:26) He will also reveal the right things to say and do in every unique situation. (James 1:5)
If the person in your life is open to hearing more about faith in Christ from detransitioners, you can encourage them to reach out to us directly. We would be happy to answer any and all questions they may have.
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